Fantastic Room 17 Writing

26 10 2010

WALT: HOOK IN THE READER

I WILL REMEMBER TO:

  • USE ADJECTIVES TO DESCRIBE
  • USE INTERESTING WORDS
  • USE PARAGRAPH(1 IDEA)

It’s Friday night and it’s game night. So we travel to our destination ‘a haunted house’. It’s dark and freaky.

My heart is pounding with fear. In my head, I’m thinking ‘what’s going to happen next’. Then “BAM” a brown, ugly door slam’s shut behind our terrified group. I started jogging, then I stop.  I’m still freaked out. I finally whispered “STOP!”. Everything stops and I see my oldest brother laughing his heart out.

He’s standing there with his beaming new, black and white Nike t shirt and a pair of black Ban Davis shorts.

He has short, spiky, black hair that doesn’t move because of all the product he uses. His smooth tanned complexion catches the light, but his annoying tone in his ever present voice, echoes through the vacant space between us.

He has no experience of being creative in my mind. The frozen chills melt away as my fear turned to embarrassment.

MONTY YEAR 6 Term 4, 2010.


Actions

Information

3 responses

27 10 2010
Suchmaschine

There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.
Keep working ,great job!

4 11 2010
stevie

That story was really cool. I liked the part how your fear turned into embarrassment.
That was a really neat story. It really hooked me in with the graet language.

1 12 2010
matt

GOOD GUY:) cool story monty That story was really cool.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: